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Look up
2
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What do you see there?
3
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Nature and stuff
4
00:00:06,215 --> 00:00:07,382
- Rocks
- And a tree
5
00:00:07,466 --> 00:00:10,677
Great North!
6
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You can breathe deeply here
7
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Catch some fish
8
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Look at the bear
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Great North!
10
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We live here
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We will stay here
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From the longest night to the longest day
In the Magnificent North
13
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This is really happening.
14
00:00:36,787 --> 00:00:39,957
I am Judy Tobin
understudy in the biggest professional one
15
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theater production in Lone Moose.
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Ronnie and Rita's engagement dinner!
17
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I'm impressed that she's an understudy
18
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remembers all the actors' lines.
19
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Yes, I play all the roles and none,
20
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but I could play anyone
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if something happened to any of the cast.
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It's not that I pray for it
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because playing lines on stage
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it would be a dream come true.
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I'm not sure if I want
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for something to happen to someone.
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- Of course.
- But if I were in this play,
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you would see me
and that it is interactive,
29
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maybe you could play yourself,
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if you were one of the people
with whom they are talking.
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- NO!
- I'm listening?
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I mean, I couldn't miss it.
33
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What a nice bean.
34
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Is everything okay, dad?
35
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You're a little tense
36
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when I mentioned interactive…
37
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- Not at all!
- Okay.
38
00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:28,046
But if you are afraid of interaction
39
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for some strange reason
40
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that you don't want to talk about,
41
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maybe you should meet the cast.
42
00:01:33,051 --> 00:01:35,929
Never! Well, maybe another time.
43
00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:38,974
I need to listen to the episode
Car Talk from 1997.
44
00:01:39,057 --> 00:01:41,226
Okay, see you later.
45
00:01:41,643 --> 00:01:42,936
Phew'!
46
00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:44,438
RONNIE AND RITA'S DINNER!
47
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- Zip!
- Zap!
48
00:01:45,647 --> 00:01:47,232
Oh no.
49
00:01:47,316 --> 00:01:49,234
- Zop!
- Great zop, Judy.
50
00:01:49,318 --> 00:01:50,902
This is just an understudy.
51
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He's still in high school
but her brain is already on Broadway.
52
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All right. Gather yourselves together.
53
00:01:57,034 --> 00:01:59,077
When Rita and I met 20 years ago
54
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as extras on the setDoctor Quinn,
55
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we didn't know
56
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that we will create together
57
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Ronnie and Rita's engagement dinner!
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- Thank God.
- Today we will tell a touching story
59
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two lovers
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00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:14,217
he from the Bronx and she from Brooklyn.
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It's like Romeo and Juliet
but with better text.
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Plus dinner for $19.99,
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dessert and alcohol not included.
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Thank God.
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And remember, today's viewers
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they had a choice between us
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and one of many streaming networks.
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Corporations want to destroy us
but we will destroy them.
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Famiglia for three.
One, two, three!
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Famiglia!
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A collection for young preppers
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The stench of smoked meat
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at the annual meat collection
for young preppers.
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Yeah.
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00:02:46,458 --> 00:02:49,002
Are you only taking one box?
76
00:02:49,086 --> 00:02:50,545
I'll take them home
77
00:02:50,629 --> 00:02:53,757
I'll sell it to my dad,
and then we can move on with our lives.
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00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,842
Don't you want to win one of the prizes?
79
00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:57,928
Balls, basketball trash can
80
00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,931
and a lifetime supply of sticky paws.
81
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:02,015
It's a great idea
82
00:03:02,099 --> 00:03:04,851
but I can't sell. Look.
83
00:03:04,935 --> 00:03:06,186
Buy dried elk.
84
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Stuff yourself with meat.
85
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Chicken!
86
00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:10,816
- See?
- Yes, it was terrible,
87
00:03:10,899 --> 00:03:12,943
After something like that, I probably wouldn't be tempted
88
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:15,070
for dried elk or anything else.
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00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:18,198
But Moon, Honeybee and me
we know sales.
90
00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:19,282
Do you remember this drink
91
00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:20,784
an energetic with human blood?
92
00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:22,285
Gurgle?
93
00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:23,912
I sold a lot of them in Fresno,
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after the trial.
95
00:03:25,247 --> 00:03:26,665
- Wow.
- So what will it be like?
96
00:03:26,748 --> 00:03:28,667
- Let's join forces?
- I'm in.
97
00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:31,044
Let's get those paws.
98
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:34,756
Aunt Marie, I need to find out
99
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- how do you make this sauce?
- Sauce?
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00:03:37,843 --> 00:03:39,761
We don't call it gravy in the Bronx.
101
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It's a roux.
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Spicy stuff.
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00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:45,809
Rita meant roux.
104
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She was just wrong.
105
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I can't continue this.
106
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You must know something.
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I'm not from the Bronx.
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I'm from Brooklyn.
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Brooklyn? From the beginning
something smelled in here.
110
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Aunt Marie, this is my fiancée.
111
00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:05,370
She is not a sister of mercy.
112
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Incredible.
113
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,208
Aunt Marie, let it go.
114
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I'll see how the rest of the family is doing.
115
00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:15,380
You have a big family.
116
00:04:16,047 --> 00:04:18,425
Look at this.
This is Cousin Joey.
117
00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:19,926
He's out of the box!
118
00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:21,803
What are you having for dinner?
119
00:04:21,887 --> 00:04:24,765
- Chicken.
- You called me a bastard?
120
00:04:28,351 --> 00:04:30,812
And remember, you can choose your appetizer…
121
00:04:30,896 --> 00:04:32,856
But you don't choose your family.
122
00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:34,399
- Aunt Marie!
- Aunt Marie!
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Spaghetti.
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I'll just find her kneecap.
125
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Where is he?
Where's her kneecap?
126
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I'm sorry your leg died.
127
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:49,372
This is crap theater.
128
00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:51,541
I knew the risk when I took the job.
129
00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:53,084
Maybe I can get up.
130
00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:57,464
The streaming industry will be delighted.
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00:04:57,923 --> 00:05:00,467
Judy, you're going to be Aunt Marie,
132
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for the duration of ACL ligament treatment
this middle-aged woman?
133
00:05:04,429 --> 00:05:05,847
Yep!
134
00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:06,973
Miss Judy…
135
00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:12,687
Don't let me down.
136
00:05:14,189 --> 00:05:15,398
Is she dead?
137
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:17,567
There's nothing wrong with her.
He does this often.
138
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:19,820
Dad, I have great news.
139
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I play in a play.
You and the whole family have to
140
00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:23,990
come to my debut tomorrow.
141
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God, interactive theater!
142
00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:29,746
NO! NO!
143
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,998
Dad, wake up!
144
00:05:35,877 --> 00:05:39,756
Thank you all for your reply
to my text message regarding an urgent meeting.
145
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,425
Dad would like to be brave
share with us
146
00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:43,885
something very personal.
147
00:05:43,969 --> 00:05:46,304
A dramatic story
about interaction with the audience
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during a theater performance.
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00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:51,268
God, I know what it's about.
150
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:52,978
Tell me, dad.
151
00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:55,814
This was five years ago on Comedy Dump.
152
00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:58,441
I can still smell the jalapeño peppers.
153
00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:00,902
I begged my dad to take me
at Danny Whut,
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00:06:00,986 --> 00:06:03,113
iconic comedian.
155
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,031
I was stupid enough during the performance
156
00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:07,909
to look him in the eye
157
00:06:07,993 --> 00:06:09,744
and when it happened, he said…
158
00:06:09,828 --> 00:06:12,622
Flannel knows what I'm talking about, right?
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00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:15,542
I didn't know.
I had no idea what he was talking about
160
00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:17,127
and he felt it immediately.
161
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:18,753
So, like an alpha predator,
162
00:06:18,837 --> 00:06:20,964
attacked me with a second question.
163
00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:22,507
Tell me, where are you from?
164
00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:24,050
I had a blackout.
165
00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:27,053
This guy is from…
166
00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:31,558
I'm performing there next week.
167
00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:38,315
I fainted and when I woke up,
I was silent all day,
168
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,400
and I had a small burn on my face
169
00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:42,444
from the queso sauce that made me faint.
170
00:06:42,527 --> 00:06:45,363
This psycho asked where are you from?
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From now on
I swore to myself that I would never
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I will not take part in any immersion,
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interactions
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00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:53,288
or dialogues with the audience.
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00:06:53,371 --> 00:06:56,833
Dad, stand-up
and interactive culinary theater
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00:06:56,916 --> 00:06:58,209
these are two different things.
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00:06:58,293 --> 00:07:01,379
Our program is a real dance
artists with clients,
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00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:03,089
in which we share the viewers' attention.
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00:07:03,173 --> 00:07:04,466
It's a kind of utopia.
180
00:07:04,549 --> 00:07:05,675
I want to believe you, Judy,
181
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,886
but I don't know if I could do it.
182
00:07:07,969 --> 00:07:10,639
Theater audiences
they should not participate in art.
183
00:07:10,722 --> 00:07:13,224
If you don't come
for my big debut,
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00:07:13,308 --> 00:07:15,727
that I care about so much,
I guess I'll understand then.
185
00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:18,563
I can give your ticket to mom.
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00:07:18,647 --> 00:07:20,148
Wait.
187
00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:23,109
Judy, just the thought
about interaction in the theater
188
00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:26,237
I dream of the icy hand of death.
189
00:07:26,321 --> 00:07:28,406
But to support my daughter,
190
00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:30,950
I'll go to the culinary theater.
191
00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:32,243
Yes!
192
00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:33,662
Dad, maybe this will console you,
193
00:07:33,745 --> 00:07:34,996
I googled this comedian
194
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,498
and died of a heart attack 2 years ago.
195
00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:39,042
You comforted me, son.
196
00:07:39,876 --> 00:07:41,961
Gaba-gaba-gaba-gaba-gu!
197
00:07:39,876 --> 00:07:41,961
Gaba-gaba-gaba-gaba-gu!
198
00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:44,714
- Here is our star.
- Hey, Alanis.
199
00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:46,091
It was supposed to be a compliment.
200
00:07:46,174 --> 00:07:47,676
You look like an old hag.
201
00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:49,427
Thank you.
202
00:07:49,511 --> 00:07:51,137
Ready for your big debut?
203
00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:53,264
Yes, I even dreamed about my character.
204
00:07:53,348 --> 00:07:54,683
Marie met
with the pope,
205
00:07:54,766 --> 00:07:56,518
he let her smell his piss.
206
00:07:56,601 --> 00:07:58,144
It means you're ready.
207
00:07:58,228 --> 00:08:01,314
It's a pity that dad happened like this
all this makes me nervous.
208
00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:04,025
Out of stress, he chopped wood all night long.
209
00:08:04,109 --> 00:08:06,361
My dad always panicked
210
00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:07,779
during my concerts.
211
00:08:07,862 --> 00:08:09,197
To relax,
212
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:12,325
I invited him on stage once
to play on the woodblock.
213
00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:14,703
- But...
- God, great idea.
214
00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:16,413
- What idea?
- Thanks, Alanis.
215
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:17,872
I'll do the same.
216
00:08:17,956 --> 00:08:19,457
It wasn't an idea.
217
00:08:19,541 --> 00:08:21,668
I need to buy a wig like that.
218
00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:23,128
It looks amazing.
219
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:26,256
Remember Moon
people don't buy the product.
220
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:27,674
They buy the story.
221
00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:31,845
Good morning.
My brother sells dried elk…
222
00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:33,680
No, thank you.
223
00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:36,391
I'm sorry, buddy,
but your bullies were right.
224
00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:38,852
You won't sell even one package of meat.
225
00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:42,188
Okay, I guess I'll go get beat up.
226
00:08:42,272 --> 00:08:44,315
I wish I could help you somehow.
227
00:08:44,399 --> 00:08:46,359
But your bullies are beating us too.
228
00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:48,987
Yes. My doctor says
that if they take my pants off again,
229
00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:51,489
my ass will be torn apart for good,
230
00:08:51,573 --> 00:08:52,782
like a hamburger bun.
231
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:55,368
Wait. I will put an end to your ordeal.
232
00:08:56,327 --> 00:08:58,288
Hooray! You have a natural talent.
233
00:08:58,371 --> 00:08:59,789
You said the right thing.
234
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:02,959
Because the more you lie,
the more you spend.
235
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:05,128
Look, he's making up slogans.
236
00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:06,212
Okay, genius.
237
00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:08,965
How are you feeling, dad?
238
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:12,052
All right. Easy, easy.
239
00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:13,887
Ronnie, Rita, hello.
240
00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:16,014
Thank you again for this sacred role.
241
00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:18,808
You're welcome.
I remember my breakthrough role.
242
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:22,187
I played "The Lost Woman"
in the Knots Landing. reboot
243
00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:24,981
She rocked.
She was so lost.
244
00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:26,066
Come here.
245
00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:30,403
That's great.
246
00:09:30,487 --> 00:09:31,905
Will you do something for me?
247
00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:33,114
My dad came today.
248
00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:35,033
When it's time to interact,
249
00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:36,493
can you talk to him?
250
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:39,621
Judy, our interactions
with the audience are organic.
251
00:09:39,704 --> 00:09:41,456
- No setups.
- I know.
252
00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:45,502
But he was traumatized during the performance
253
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:48,880
one of the iconic stand-up comedians.
254
00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:50,757
- There you go. Poor father!
- I feel bad.
255
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,885
We will heal this man
and we will change his life.
256
00:09:53,968 --> 00:09:56,513
Streaming platforms don't do this.
257
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:57,680
Maybe Peacock.
258
00:09:58,556 --> 00:10:00,892
She is not a sister of mercy.
259
00:10:02,644 --> 00:10:05,730
I'll see how the rest of the family is doing.
260
00:10:05,814 --> 00:10:07,732
You have a big family.
261
00:10:07,816 --> 00:10:10,068
Oh no, interaction.
262
00:10:10,151 --> 00:10:11,736
Look, look.
263
00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:13,488
Good old Cousin Joey.
264
00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:15,490
Hey, buddy, what are you eating there?
265
00:10:16,324 --> 00:10:19,786
By God, it's happening again.
266
00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:22,247
Take it easy, cousin,
when you're ready,
267
00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:24,082
will you tell us what you eat?
268
00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:32,257
Come on, dad.
Tell me what you eat.
269
00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:35,426
I ask you, cousin, what are you having for dinner?
270
00:10:35,510 --> 00:10:36,719
I eat…
271
00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:41,766
- Whatever it is.
- Whatever it is!
272
00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:46,646
He makes fun of food.
273
00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:48,982
This is ridiculous.
This makes me laugh.
274
00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:52,277
- Whatever happens...
- He did it.
275
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:54,487
Kudos to Cousin Joey.
276
00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:55,989
Come on!
277
00:10:56,865 --> 00:10:57,991
Great, dude.
278
00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:00,743
I'm cousin Joey.
279
00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:03,913
And I say, "Whatever it is."
280
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:06,166
- Do you remember?
- It was pure gold.
281
00:11:06,249 --> 00:11:08,168
There's a new little girl in town,
282
00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:09,335
this is my dad.
283
00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:11,588
Son, it wasn't me.
284
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,006
This is Cousin Joey.
285
00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:14,924
That's why I was able to speak up.
286
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:17,135
I was acting like a different person.
287
00:11:17,218 --> 00:11:19,429
That's why they call it acting?
288
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:21,931
- Yes.
- How pure, undisturbed
289
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:24,726
and, most importantly, a legal high.
290
00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:27,645
You know what?
I would go to the show tonight.
291
00:11:27,729 --> 00:11:29,898
Sure, I'll put you on the list.
292
00:11:29,981 --> 00:11:32,108
I dream of you being there every night.
293
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:34,986
Maybe they'll pick on you again.
294
00:11:35,069 --> 00:11:37,071
One can always dream.
295
00:11:37,155 --> 00:11:38,531
Well, look.
296
00:11:38,615 --> 00:11:41,701
Dad on the list. Professionally.
297
00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:45,121
I tell you, Father Carmone,
298
00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:47,123
these kids worship their phones
299
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:49,334
more than crosses.
300
00:11:50,585 --> 00:11:51,794
Let's see.
301
00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:54,380
This is Cousin Joey.
302
00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:55,798
What are we eating today?
303
00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:58,509
Whatever it is.
304
00:11:58,593 --> 00:12:01,638
Kudos to this smartass.
305
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:04,140
Best reaction of the night.
306
00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:07,310
All right.
307
00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:09,354
He won't be here every day.
308
00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:11,856
MONDAY'S DISH: SPAGHETTI
309
00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:13,358
Whatever it is!
310
00:12:16,027 --> 00:12:18,529
Every box sold adds another dollar
311
00:12:18,613 --> 00:12:21,199
for the treatment of Frankenstein syndrome.
312
00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:23,284
TUESDAY DISH: SPAGHETTI
313
00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:26,120
- Cousin Joey!
- Whatever it is, Ronnie.
314
00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:31,251
If you want to buy,
315
00:12:31,334 --> 00:12:33,670
I'll finally get a neck transplant.
316
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:35,463
I'll take five boxes.
317
00:12:35,546 --> 00:12:36,589
I'll call the surgeon
318
00:12:36,673 --> 00:12:38,591
to take care of your neck.
319
00:12:38,675 --> 00:12:40,593
Whatever it is!
320
00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:42,262
Now we can afford an exorcist,
321
00:12:42,345 --> 00:12:44,138
to draw the demon out of you.
322
00:12:44,222 --> 00:12:46,266
Enjoy your moose.
323
00:12:46,349 --> 00:12:47,892
Whatever it is!
324
00:12:48,226 --> 00:12:51,312
Whatever it is!
325
00:12:51,396 --> 00:12:53,231
Enough!
326
00:12:53,648 --> 00:12:57,568
Did everyone eat ziti?
327
00:12:58,194 --> 00:12:59,779
Whatever it was!
328
00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:07,662
"Whatever it is."
329
00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:09,205
Is everything okay, Judy?
330
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:12,000
No, dad stole my show.
331
00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:13,584
If a talent scout shows up,
332
00:13:13,668 --> 00:13:14,877
they will take him into the cast
333
00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:17,755
new film for teenagers instead of me.
334
00:13:17,839 --> 00:13:20,008
I'm going to start screaming into my wig.
335
00:13:21,676 --> 00:13:24,137
I never finished
his story about his dad.
336
00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:27,223
After the first concert
Dad couldn't get enough of it.
337
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:29,392
Then every night he went on stage,
338
00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:32,270
he was getting at the woodblock
and shook his daddy's hips.
339
00:13:32,353 --> 00:13:35,023
- Disgusting.
- Paris, Madrid, Rome.
340
00:13:35,106 --> 00:13:36,232
When we got to Rio,
341
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:37,775
the crowd chanted "woodblock",
342
00:13:37,859 --> 00:13:40,153
even before I started talking
in Portuguese.
343
00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:43,990
Bloco de madeira!
Bloco de madeira! So much attention,
344
00:13:44,073 --> 00:13:45,908
and he didn't even try.
345
00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:48,369
Exactly. It wasn't even his dream.
346
00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:49,912
I wanted to turn off his microphone.
347
00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:51,998
- But...
- Właśnie.
348
00:13:52,081 --> 00:13:54,125
Powiem im,
to stop picking on him.
349
00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:56,294
You're brilliant, thank you.
350
00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:57,962
I'm not done yet.
351
00:13:58,046 --> 00:14:00,423
I need to learn to speak faster.
352
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:02,884
You don't choose your family.
353
00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:04,427
- Aunt Marie!
- Aunt Marie!
354
00:14:06,471 --> 00:14:07,805
Świetny występ.
355
00:14:07,889 --> 00:14:09,724
It's nice that Ronnie is louder.
356
00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:11,309
- Dzięki Bogu.
- Chcę powiedzieć,
357
00:14:11,392 --> 00:14:13,728
że to miłe,
that you're talking to my dad, but...
358
00:14:13,811 --> 00:14:16,606
Speaking of which, Rita, do you have it?
359
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:18,232
- What's going on?
- What's going on?
360
00:14:18,316 --> 00:14:21,027
Beef, we wanted to ask you something,
361
00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:24,530
and we wanted to do it
in front of the entire famiglia.
362
00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:27,283
You become famous
thanks to your funny texts.
363
00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:28,618
I don't want to scare anyone,
364
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,578
but streaming platforms
join forces.
365
00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:32,872
They mass them,
366
00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:35,416
to deal a fatal blow
culinary theaters.
367
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:37,668
And that's why, Beef, we're asking you
368
00:14:37,752 --> 00:14:39,629
for you to join the cast.
369
00:14:39,754 --> 00:14:42,340
Can you be our regular
cousin Joey
370
00:14:42,423 --> 00:14:43,925
since today's performance?
371
00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:45,927
I'm honored, I agree.
372
00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:48,429
Bloco de madeira.
373
00:14:48,513 --> 00:14:50,681
Sale ends tomorrow
374
00:14:48,513 --> 00:14:50,681
Sale ends tomorrow
375
00:14:50,765 --> 00:14:53,142
and if I sell the last 20 boxes,
376
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:55,603
we'll be pawconers.
377
00:14:55,686 --> 00:14:57,522
We will never reach for anything again.
378
00:14:57,605 --> 00:14:59,774
I have an idea I'd like to try
379
00:14:59,857 --> 00:15:02,401
but for it to work, I'd have to go alone.
380
00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:04,445
I got it.
381
00:15:04,529 --> 00:15:05,655
We believe in you.
382
00:15:06,948 --> 00:15:08,825
My blood.
383
00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:13,663
Sorry to interrupt.
Do you see these two people in the car?
384
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:15,832
They kidnapped me and said,
that I won't come back
385
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:18,709
until I sell the meat.
I have a bomb under my clothes.
386
00:15:18,793 --> 00:15:20,503
Wait here.
387
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:22,046
I'll go get my bag.
388
00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:25,049
Mission accomplished.
389
00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:27,885
Did she really buy all the boxes?
390
00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:30,638
If anyone asks, tell me
391
00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:32,473
that you planted a bomb on me.
392
00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:39,814
Take care of him, Mikey.
393
00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:44,402
Good evening, lovely Rita.
394
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:47,405
What a guy.
395
00:15:47,488 --> 00:15:49,031
Hello, lovely Rita.
396
00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:53,661
Zip, zip…
397
00:15:54,412 --> 00:15:55,413
- Zop.
- Zop.
398
00:15:55,496 --> 00:15:57,874
Yes, zop! Thanks, Beef!
399
00:15:58,541 --> 00:16:01,210
I casually crush MandMs with my mom
400
00:16:03,004 --> 00:16:04,589
Gather yourselves together. Collection.
401
00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:07,008
Despite the best efforts of Silicon Valley
402
00:16:07,091 --> 00:16:09,343
we have the 12th show today.
403
00:16:09,427 --> 00:16:10,636
To celebrate
404
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,305
then we go for drinks
405
00:16:12,388 --> 00:16:14,307
to 21 Up in Whippleton.
406
00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:17,518
But up to 21 and up
admission from the age of 21.
407
00:16:17,602 --> 00:16:20,688
Don't worry, Jude,
I'll tell you what happened.
408
00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:23,107
Especially our new jokes like this one:
409
00:16:23,191 --> 00:16:24,442
“Hold the mustard!”
410
00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:26,903
Keep the mustard!
411
00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:30,239
In a minute. Why don't I know him?
412
00:16:36,913 --> 00:16:39,165
Hey, look. This is Cousin Joey.
413
00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:40,541
What are we eating today?
414
00:16:40,625 --> 00:16:42,752
- Whatever…
- Whatever it is!
415
00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,003
That's good.
416
00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:47,423
Is everything okay, Aunt Marie?
417
00:16:47,506 --> 00:16:51,802
NO. Aunt Marie has something to say.
418
00:16:55,389 --> 00:16:57,183
How are you?
419
00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:58,976
Do you eat well? Mangia?
420
00:16:59,060 --> 00:17:00,853
Mangia, mangia…
421
00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:02,355
Aunt Marie,
422
00:17:02,438 --> 00:17:03,940
maybe you could sit down?
423
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:06,108
I think you went too far with the sambuca.
424
00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:08,194
I can't drink.
I'm too young, remember?
425
00:17:08,277 --> 00:17:09,528
You made an appointment without me.
426
00:17:09,612 --> 00:17:12,740
What about my plans and dreams?
427
00:17:12,823 --> 00:17:15,368
I put the work into it.
Trial after trial,
428
00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:17,620
after the rehearsal. After three tries.
429
00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:20,164
Judy, don't step out of character.
430
00:17:20,248 --> 00:17:22,625
Role? Let's talk about the role.
431
00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:23,834
Do you know what it is?
432
00:17:23,918 --> 00:17:26,629
A book with Aunt Maria's characterization.
433
00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:28,381
Since primary school
434
00:17:28,464 --> 00:17:30,675
to what he wants to engrave on his tombstone.
435
00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:32,718
"Daughter. Aunt. Angel."
436
00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:34,637
Judy, we have a show.
437
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:35,721
Competition…
438
00:17:35,805 --> 00:17:37,848
Today I have a bigger problem than them.
439
00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:39,392
It's that guy.
440
00:17:39,934 --> 00:17:42,520
My own father! He rushes in here
441
00:17:42,603 --> 00:17:44,855
makes people laugh,
and a moment later he gets hired.
442
00:17:44,939 --> 00:17:48,025
Tell me your story, Joey.
443
00:17:48,109 --> 00:17:50,027
Where did you go to primary school?
444
00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:56,909
Wherever it was.
445
00:17:58,619 --> 00:18:00,496
Because I, Aunt Marie,
446
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:03,416
I went to Our Lady
from Tears in the Bronx,
447
00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:05,209
next to the spaghetti shop.
448
00:18:05,293 --> 00:18:08,212
I was one of 17 children, we lived in poverty.
449
00:18:08,296 --> 00:18:10,381
And what kind?
450
00:18:10,464 --> 00:18:13,009
Every morning I cut up the leftover meatballs
451
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:15,344
for 17 pieces for dinner.
452
00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:18,931
I added to each piece
a spoonful of tomato sauce
453
00:18:19,015 --> 00:18:21,350
and I shed a tear more than once.
454
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:24,770
And the nuns were mean.
455
00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:27,398
All it took was a wrong answer
and they were already pouring down my feet.
456
00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:32,028
After school I got in
on the bus to Coney Island,
457
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:35,323
I sat on the sand
and I opened the lunch box.
458
00:18:35,406 --> 00:18:37,992
I didn't eat my piece of meatball.
459
00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:40,494
I left it for the birds.
460
00:18:40,578 --> 00:18:42,204
- Why?
- Why?
461
00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:45,041
'Cause they were hungrier than me, Cousin Joey,
462
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,751
and I decided that if I fed them,
463
00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:49,587
Lord Jesus and his apostles…
464
00:18:49,670 --> 00:18:50,671
Thank God.
465
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:53,257
…they will take pity on us and send us riches.
466
00:18:53,341 --> 00:18:56,469
One day he crushed my father
467
00:18:56,552 --> 00:19:00,097
Parmesan circle. He died on the spot.
468
00:19:00,181 --> 00:19:01,932
Parmesan producer
469
00:19:02,016 --> 00:19:03,893
he had to pay us a million dollars,
470
00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:06,020
and my family and the birds
471
00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:08,814
they knew no more hunger.
472
00:19:13,611 --> 00:19:16,864
Hey. You may know me as Cousin Joey,
473
00:19:16,947 --> 00:19:19,909
that's how Ronnie introduced me earlier.
474
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:22,078
But my real name is Beef,
475
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:24,455
and this is my talented daughter, Judy.
476
00:19:24,955 --> 00:19:29,210
I wanted to tell you
that you are absolutely right.
477
00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:30,670
Thanks to your generosity
478
00:19:30,753 --> 00:19:33,005
I got a taste of being the center of attention,
479
00:19:33,089 --> 00:19:35,675
and I ate the whole cannoli,
I'm sorry.
480
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:39,679
I'll do what my nuns say
they never got it.
481
00:19:40,054 --> 00:19:41,806
I'll forgive you!
482
00:19:44,475 --> 00:19:45,976
I don't know what happened here
483
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:49,188
but I know streaming platforms
they have a problem today.
484
00:19:50,147 --> 00:19:52,525
Faking kidnaping
it's a serious crime,
485
00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:54,610
right after kidnaping.
486
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:56,570
I guess you shouldn't lie to people
487
00:19:56,654 --> 00:19:59,073
just to win sticky paws.
488
00:19:59,156 --> 00:20:01,784
What? NO!
489
00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:04,286
The more you darken,
the more you get, kid.
490
00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:06,455
I was a little prepper myself.
491
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:07,540
Look at this.
492
00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:10,209
Wow!
493
00:20:10,292 --> 00:20:12,795
Listen, these muscle boys from the fire department
494
00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:14,171
they buy as they go.
495
00:20:14,255 --> 00:20:15,464
We roll up.
496
00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:17,717
- Can I hold your gun?
- Sure.
497
00:20:18,592 --> 00:20:19,885
2 WEEKS LATER
498
00:20:19,969 --> 00:20:21,804
I was sorry to return my wig
499
00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:23,305
her previous owner,
500
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:25,474
but this whole experience
it inspired me
501
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:27,059
to write a play.
502
00:20:27,143 --> 00:20:31,856
“Judy Tobin Presents
Rick and Rachel's Engagement Breakfast.
503
00:20:31,939 --> 00:20:33,899
It's a story about two lovers
504
00:20:33,983 --> 00:20:36,986
he from Juneau and she from Anchorage.
505
00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:40,072
LikeRomeo and Julietbut more tragic.
506
00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:43,367
Southern romance
and further areas of Alaska?
507
00:20:43,451 --> 00:20:44,785
I have to see this.
508
00:20:44,869 --> 00:20:46,162
Can you help me with the text?
509
00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:47,830
Sure.
510
00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:49,665
Let's start with scene two.
511
00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:51,792
"Aunt Marge, I'd love to know
512
00:20:51,876 --> 00:20:53,669
how do you make these pancakes?
513
00:20:53,753 --> 00:20:57,256
"Pancakes? In Juneau."
we call them pancakes.”
514
00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:00,843
It's about to start to go crazy.
515
00:21:28,871 --> 00:21:30,873
Subtitles: Piotr Leszczyński